CHRONOPHOBIA
A poem about coming to terms with the inevitability of time passing
The Dreadful Realisation That We Are Running Out Of Time
If I do not preach to the ether what I ate (or what I didn’t) for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I wonder if my childhood, adolescence and fledgeling adulthood would slip through my fingers like grains of sand that fade into a mirage of retention.
There are goldfish swimming in their bowl on my bedside table. Fleshy, forgetful, orange creatures that are fragile and fat on remembering. They (nor I) would survive the desert; suffocating in the swell of drought and tides of reminiscing until we are but shrivelled corpses buried beneath the weight of forgotten memory.
I am afraid! Afraid that if I do not spend my priceless time remembering that the mirage will evolve into a terrifying, barren landscape– one of remorseful, regretful amnesia. For there may come a time when I move to another land and whilst packing my boxes I discover my cursive handwriting obscured and warped, trapped in the dread of a forgotten day, week, month or decade.
When the tide shifts and my life transitions, the dread will surface and I will flee from it. The journal will run out of pages and I will replace it. The pen will run out of ink, and if I am too slow to refill it, I may lose the habit completely, all those words would be for naught, and I would regress into fleshy orange nothingness.
I am haunted! Haunted by the “what if” of memory loss. What if I became a victim to fallible memory? What if I lived my whole life and could never recount it? What if I never wrote down my tragedies and triumphs?
I must collect them for the time when I pack up the boxes of my life into finality and leave behind my thoughts and legacies for the world. Riding upon the mirage on camelback, drifting on waves of sand by sail, perishing into nothing and reconciling with memory.
Drifting into the blinding sun and overworld.
Dust to dust.
Eclectic Creative is the newsletter to read with your morning coffee or evening tea. Writer and creative freelancer Jada De Luca grapples with a small corner of the internet, shaping it into a celestial creative non-fiction realm that is dedicated to her favourite topics and ever expansive creativity.
If you are interested in art, writing, spirituality, tarot, travel, and books, you are warmly invited to enjoy Eclectic Creative weekly.
About The Writer
Jada De Luca doesn’t go anywhere without her kindle and interprets tarot cards for the spiritually curious. She is a long time writer and in-house collage witch for the Aussie based travel publication Astray, best known for her piece The Writer’s Routine.
Jada tells stories through an eclectic mix of both written and visual narration, creating magical, surreal, and intensely personal landscapes for her audiences.
I am always looking to connect with other artists, writers, and fellow magical moonbeams. If you enjoy my work, I encourage you to save, share, and don’t forget to tag me! (@fujijada)
My Instagram is @fujijada. Art is shared, life is documented, and DM’s are treated as delicately as hand-delivered letters.
For book recommendations and the occasional review, or if you want to read along with me, please refer to my Goodreads.
If you’re curious about my creative services, I am experienced in creative advertising, content creation, copywriting, website design, art direction & surrealist collage art. Peep the website for more info.
The collage artwork that accompanies a lot of my writing here is created by me. Want some art to hang above your altar, stick on your fridge, display in your home or gift to a lover? My enquiries are open!
And if all of the above appeals to you, shoot me an email directly at deluca.jada@gmail.com.
In the meantime,
Lots of love,
Jada
Wow this was stunning!!